Movie Review: "Fire and Ice" (1983)

This week, I wanted to give a shout out to perhaps the most ambitious barbarian-themed fantasy film produced in the wake of "Conan the Barbarian" (1982), the classic animated Swords & Sorcery yarn, "Fire and Ice":

In "Fire and Ice," the evil Queen Juliana of Icepeak and her sociopathic and totally not gay son, Lord Nekron, seek to conquer the world with dark sorcery by unleashing a seemingly unstoppable glacier.  As the glacier nears the last free kingdom of Firekeep, subhuman minions from Icepeak kidnap the scantily-clad Princess Teegra to marry Nekron.

Teegra escapes and meets up with Larn, a handsome hunky barbarian warrior wearing only a loincloth, the displaced survivor of a village destroyed by the glacier.  After Larn is knocked unconscious and Teegra is once again kidnapped by the subhumans, we meet the real star of the show, the mysterious badass who's so mysterious that his name is never given in the movie (although he's called Darkwolf in the credits)!  Thus, when we watched this flick in the ancient 80s, my friend Chris dubbed him "Cat Dude".

All we ever learn about Cat Dude is that he's a ridiculous badass and an unstoppable murder machine. While Larn is the ostensible hero of the film, Cat Dude is the one who actually gets things done.  

Things end up as you might expect from a Swords & Sorcery yarn (hint, it involves Cat Dude's axe and Nekron's chest).

"Fire and Ice" is a basic good vs. evil story and if that's how you judge this movie, it's not very good as the plot is straightforward and the second act drags a bit.  However, as collaboration between noted animation director Ralph Bakshi and his long-time friend, the all-time great fantasy illustrator Frank Frazetta, it's metal!

The film is basically a Frazetta painting turned into a movie, which is unsurprising since Frazetta provided the character designs and the fantasy setting.  There's many a mighty thew and scantily clad bosom to be found, and the flick is visually stunning, depicting a savage and primitive world filled with horrific monstrosities, weird and wild landscapes, lost ancient civilizations and copious amounts of dark sorcery.

Also notable is the film's use of rotoscoping, in which scenes were shot in live action and then traced onto animation cels, as with Bakshi's earlier adaptation of Lord of the Rings.  This provides an amazing sense of realism to the characters' motions.

For comparison, here is actress Cynthia Leake:

And here is Princess Teegra:

So, if you want to see an epic animated Swords & Sorcery yarn featuring barbarians, buxom babes, and lots of things getting murdered, check out this overlooked gem!  

Movie Review: "Hero" (2002)

Much like there were many Swords & Sorcery films released in the wake of the epic "Conan the Barbarian" (1982), there were a number of Wuxia movies at the turn of the century that sought to capitalize on the popularity of "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" (2000).

This week, I wanted to take a look at one of the better efforts, "Hero" (2002):

Very, very loosely based on the story of Jing Ke's assassination attempt on the King Zheng of Qin (who would go on to become Emperor Qin Shi Huang, founder of the Qin Dynasty) in 227 BC, "Hero" is a low fantasy historical adventure film by "Fifth Generation" director Zhang Yimou.

Set in the Warring States period of China, the story follows a nameless swordsman (appropriately named Nameless), a minor government official who purportedly has killed three assassins (Sky, Snow, Broken Sword) who have been giving King Zheng sleepless nights and caused him to take drastic security measures.  This gets Nameless an audience with the King and what follows is a cat and mouse game between the two, and we see various versions of the events (a la Rashomon (1950)), as the King drills down to the surprising truth.

Compelled to surpass "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" (directed by Taiwanese multiple Academy Award winner Ang Lee) out of nationalistic pride, "Hero" was the most expensive mainland Chinese film to that date, with an all-star cast headlined by legendary martial arts star Jet Li and including Hong Kong staples Tony Leung and Maggie Cheung, "Crouching Tiger" starlet Zhang Ziyi and long time mainland Chinese actor Chen Daoming.

"Hero" has solid wuxia action, especially between Li and fellow action star Donny Yen.  The other action scenes are more dreamlike, but are still fine.  One of the best parts of the film is the amazing cinematography, featuring amazing landscapes and gorgeous use of color.

However, the story has some issues, not the least of which is, without completely spoiling the ending, that this movie was unsurprisingly criticized in the West as being pro-authoritarian.  By this, I mean that, unlike the position taken by the film, the people of the Warring States didn't really have a sense of being part of one country at that time, while the film has a clear message of the importance of sacrificing lives and liberty in favor of central power.

Unsurprisingly, this is exactly the message that the Chinese Communist Party pushes.  And, as Director Zhang Yimou is a loyal member of the Communist Party, it's not surprising that he was awarded the prestigious position of directing the Opening Ceremonies of the 2008 Beijing Olympics.

Anyway, "Hero" is a fine entry in the wuxia genre.  However, take its historicity with a giant boulder of salt and it's better to enjoy the film as pretty but vapid entertainment.

Movie Review: 47 Ronin (2013)

This week, I wanted to take a look at a Flawed but Fun retelling of the epic true story of the forty-seven rōnin (四十七士 Shi-jū-shichi-shi, forty-seven samurai), "47 Ronin":

Based on the Akō incident (赤穂事件 Akō jiken), which is celebrated each year on December 14, "47 Ronin" is a fictionalized version of Akō incident that's further been reskinned as a Sword & Sorcery yarn.  This film follows the viewpoint of the fictional character Kai, a half-Japanese, half-English foundling who possesses certain preternatural abilities courtesy of being raised by the Tengu, which are Japanese spirits/demons.

Kai flees the Tengu and is found and raised by Lord Asano Naganori of the Akō Domain.  Although an outsider to the others of Lord Asano's household, Kai is treated kindly by the Lord and his daughter, Mika, with whom there's a predictable forbidden romance subplot.  Years later, Lord Asano is framed for the attempted murder of the rival Lord Kira (in real life Kira Yoshinaka was a high ranking government official rather than a rival lord) by witchcraft and is forced to commit seppuku (切腹, "cutting [the] Stomach/belly"), a form of Japanese ritual suicide by disembowelment.

Consequently, Lord Asano's samurai become ronin (masterless warriors), which drives the rest of the film.  Despite being specifically forbidden to seek revenge against Kira, the 47 Ronin (including Kai) carve a bloody path through anyone who stands in their way to avenge their fallen lord.

Overall, this movie is a mixed bag.  "47 Ronin" is serviceable as a popcorn flick and is a decent a Sword & Sorcery film, but there's no gravitas to the movie as there probably should be for a story (the Akō incident) that has become synonymous with loyalty, sacrifice, persistence, and honor in Japan.    The plot of "47 Ronin" is pretty much by numbers and Lord Kira is a 2D baddie (the film probably should have focused more on the witch, playing by Kikuchi Rinko, who at least did a fun job of chewing scenery).

By contrast, Keanu Reeves' acting as Kai is, as usual outside of a few roles, is pretty flat and doesn't do a good job of carrying the movie.  The production design is good and the action sequences are fun but not particularly memorable.  Some of the CGI looks bad.

I think that the accusations of "whitewashing," which likely affected the film's box office performance, are overblown in this particular case: while Kai is the main character of the film, his actions and abilities are explained in the Sword & Sorcery context and he doesn't particularly overshadow the other characters.

If anything, this movie should have more fully embraced and explored the supernatural and eldritch parts of Japanese myth and folklore, which would have made the film more distinctive.

Movie Review: Hercules, Samson and Ulysses (1963)

This week, I wanted to give a shout out to a ripping Sword & Sandal yarn that puts together two great tastes that taste great together and that kicks more butt than you can shake a Bible at, "Hercules, Samson and Ulysses":

Exotic lands!  Dangerous women!  Evil tyrants!  Legendary heroes!  Mighty thews!  This movie has it all!

The action begins in Ithaca, where a fearsome sea monster (*cough*sea lion*cough*) is ravaging the coast.  Brave Hercules, crafty Ulysses and a few redshirts ship out to stop the beast but end up shipwrecked in Judea!  Meanwhile, Samson is hiding out from the Philistines for killing a number of their men and generally resisting their rule.

Then, there's a bit of mistaken identity when Hercules slays a lion with his barehands, since only one guy is supposed to be able to do that...

Meanwhile, the Philistine King engages in a bit of ethnic cleaning and kidnaps Hercules' friends, with the help of sexy troublemaker Delilah.  To free them, Hercules has to bring in the rebel Samson, setting up the epic no holds barred smackdown of the ages!

Made toward the end of the golden age of peplum films, "Hercules, Samson and Ulysses" is as good (or bad) as you might expect.  This is fun film about manly men and superheroes teaming up to fight evil.  It is a (mostly) lighthearted romp that is gloriously and unabashedly cheesy (e.g, there's an obvious English language dub, the "rocks" are clearly Styrofoam, etc.) but in a way that simply adds to the charm.

The story is straightforward but not aggressively stupid.

The fight scenes are good in a chop socky way and the acting is played straight is mostly effective, with some fun flirting between Hercules and Delilah.  Also, it is super nice to see real sets and animals rather than CGI!  And the ladies are easy on the eyes.

So, if you want to see big, beefy, sweaty dudes wrestling in a totally not homoerotic way, check out this classic flick!

Movie Review: Willow (1988)

This week, I wanted to give a shout out to yet another film that I thought was totally awesome as a kid, but, with hindsight, doesn't look as shiny, George Lucas' foray into High Fantasy, Willow:

Willow has a somewhat meandering plot wherein a girl with a special birthmark is prophesied to bring about the downfall of the evil sorceress Queen Bavmorda.  Consequently, Bavmorda imprisons all the pregnant women in her realm.  Nevertheless, this baby Elora Danan, is born and smuggled to safety, eventually ending up in the care of our titular character, Willow Ufgood.

Willow is a simple farmer who dreams of becoming a sorcerer and is tasked with finding a safe place for Elora Danan.  Along the way, he meets rogue sellsword Madmartigan, a couple of brownies (who are the comic relief), Princess Sorcha (daughter of Queen Bavmorda, who does a heel-face turn) and Fin Raziel (a good sorceress polymorphed into a possum).  Also, armies clash, swashbuckling happens and dark sorcery must be averted!

Much like Star Wars, Willow is a mishmash of different ideas and inspirations, some of them painfully obvious in hindsight, such as Star Wars (Madmartigan is pretty much fantasy Han Solo) and the Lord of the Rings (the Nelwyns are pretty much Hobbits with the serial numbers filed off).  However unlike Star Wars, in Willow that mishmash never really comes together, unfortunately.

This film also suffers from an underwhelming performance from lead actor Warwick Davis, who fails to solidly anchor this ambitious project with his often hammy and wooden delivery.  And the tone of the film wildly swings from super kid-friendly to really grim dark.

Still, there are also plenty of positives.  Val Kilmer brings the necessary rock star qualities to Madmartigan and the rest of the cast is filled with good character actors.  The cinematography, action sequences, production design and costuming are good to excellent.  The VFX look dated now, but were good for the time.

So, if you are looking for an ambitious but flawed epic fantasy film that's still a fun romp, this might be up your alley!

Movie Review: Gladiator (2000)

This week, I wanted to take a look at the film that's kicked off the latest round of Historical Epic and Sword & Sandal romps, "Gladiator":

First of all, I want to state up front that calling this movie "historical" has to be taken with a gigantic asteroid of salt!  Anyway, "Gladiator" follows the rise and fall... and rise of the fictional Maximus Decimus Meridius as he transitions from general to slave to the titular gladiator.

The film begins with the final battle of the Marcomannic Wars, which ends with a decisive Roman victory by Maximus while Emperor Marcus Aurelius watches.  Afterward, Marcus Aurelius declares to his son, Commodus, that the latter will not be Emperor (NB- this didn't happen in real life) because the former wants to dissolve the Empire and to restore the Roman Republic (NB- this didn't happen in real life).  However, rather than enjoying his much longed for peace, the Emperor instead enjoys being smothered to death by Commodus (NB- this didn't happen in real life).

Maximus is not down with this regime change and attempts a coup d'etat.  However, wily Commodus  remains one step ahead and Maximus ends up a slave after his family is murdered.  The former general is sold and trained as a gladiator and proves to be unstoppable!

Meanwhile, Commodus decides to host a massive and hugely expensive series of gladiatorial fights to distract the populace from the failings of his rule.  As the A #1 hotshot, Maximus and his friends are off to Rome.  This sets up a collision course between the two men that can only be settled with cold steel on the hot sand of the Colosseum!

While it won Best Picture at the Academy Awards (robbing Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon IMHO), "Gladiator" basically just a fun popcorn flick.  The movie has excellent action scenes, high production values and a wonderful score.  Additionally, it deserves credit for reinvigorating the Historical Epic and Sword & Sandal genres and increasing the public's interest in history generally.

However, director Ridley Scott again shows his inability to elevate source material: when he has a great script, he can produce a great movie (e.g., Alien, Blade Runner, Thelma & Louise, Black Hawk Down, The Martian).  When the scripts are not great, his films are stylish and visually stunning but not much else.  This is the case here, as "Gladiator" is ultimately a vapid tale filled with forgettable characters. 

So, if you're looking for a ripping Sword & Sandal yarn, this movie is just fine.  But if you're looking for a somewhat more historical take on ancient Rome, the HBO television series is much, much better in every other category.

Thirteen!

Movie Review: The Sword and the Sorcerer (1982)

Sometimes, when I revisit a fondly remembered film from my youth, said film holds up despite the passage of time.  Sometimes, it doesn't.  The Sword and the Sorcerer falls into the latter category.

Not having seen The Sword and the Sorcerer in decades, I was hoping that this would be a masterwork, ala Conan the Barbarian (1982), even thought all I really remembered was Talon's *THREE* bladed sword, whose parallel blades shoot off!  Woo-hoo!  Seriously, at the time, I thought this sword was one of the coolest things ever.

However, on the re-watch, I found that the poor fight choreography, the preponderance of clichés, the special effects that haven't aged well and the easily correctable script problems were off-putting: For example, it's not spelled out, but Talon banging Princess Alana was probably incest.

Still, to be fair, The Sword and the Sorcerer is certainly not a poor Sword & Sorcery yarn.  I mean, there's a sword (with *THREE* blades!?!) and a sorcerer, can't be much more Sword & Sorcery than that, right?  Plus, it's got a hot princess (the super lovely Kathleen Beller), the requisite gore, violence and nudity for a Hard "R" and a story that zips along and that remains interesting, if sometimes goofy, throughout.

In The Sword and the Sorcerer, evil King Cromwell seeks to conquer the known world by resurrecting Xusia of Delos, an evil archmagus.  Team Evil's path to global domination begins by knocking over the peaceful Kingdom of Ehdan and murdering all of the Ehdanian royal family except for the youngest son, Talon, who gets away with the *THREE* bladed sword.  Then, Cromwell makes the smart play of trying to assassinate Xusia before the sorcerer inevitably turns on him.

Unfortunately, Cromwell mucks up the assassination and Xusia escapes.  Years later, both the surviving wizard and the surviving prince, now a famous mercenary leader, return to Ehdan to seek their vengeance.  The movie ends pretty much as you would expect.

Where The Sword and the Sorcerer is more impressive is how it differs from the host of other post-Conan fantasy action films: drawing much from Errol Flynn swashbucklers, the film laced with humor and Talon is as likely to fire off a quip as swing his sword.  Also, the double villain structure allows for some clever treachery and backstabbing.  And, the princess shows more spunk than the typical helpless damsel, using the patented knee to the balls technique.

Plus, Lee Horsely is a much, much, much better actor than Arnold Schwarzenegger.  For example, Messr Horsely plays Talon with easy wit and good comedic timing.  And director Albert Pyun isn't afraid to go after the laughs either: after the rousing "let's go save our leader" speech in the brothel, the movie immediately jump cuts to the would-be rescuers in the dungeon.  Hi*LAR*ious!

If you're looking for a fun, campy pulp action film and are willing to relax your brain, The Sword and the Sorcerer isn't a bad choice.  Alternately, if you want to see a sword with *THREE* blades, this is the movie for you!

Movie Review: The Beastmaster (1982)

Based (loosely) on the hugely influential and genre defining tales of R.E. Howard's legendary Swords & Sorcery protagonist, the 1982 film "Conan the Barbarian" was itself also hugely influential and genre defining, and spawned a host of imitators in the years that followed.  Of these, this week, I wanted to give a shout out to one of the best yarns produced in Arnie's long shadow, "The Beastmaster":

"The Beastmaster" begins with a prologue of sorts, where three witches with hideous faces but sexy bodies give high priest Maax (confusingly pronunced MAY-aks), played by Rip Torn, a prophecy that he'll die by the son of King Zed.  The King busts in, two of Maax's henchmen commit suicide for unclear reasons and everyone is surprisingly nonchalant.

Things get weirder when one of the hideous sexy witches manages to sneak into the royal bedchamber with a cow (!), to teleport the unborn prince from the Queen's womb into the cow's womb (!!)... even though the cow is male (!!!), and to sneak out.  After the cow gives birth to the prince, the hideous sexy witch attempts to ritually murder the infant, but the baby is saved by a timely passerby.

The child grows up to be Dar (played by Marc Singer), a farm boy unaware of his true lineage (where have we heard THAT before?).  Dar leads a simple but happy life and discovers his ability to communicate telepathically with animals.  Unfortunately, his village is massacred by the Jun Horde (and Maax, who's there as well for some reason), which sends Dar, who now only wears a few bits of strategically placed leather, out into the world to seek revenge.

In short order, Dar encounters his animal companions: an eagle (Sharak), a pair of ferrets (Kodo and Podo), and a black tiger (Ruh).  He also puts together a band of human heroes, including the former slave girl Kiri (played by the very lovely Tonya Roberts), whom many people feel is the best part of this movie.

The rest of the story meanders a fair bit, and the film's five act structure produces what feels like a false ending (especially since the real ending is not hugely necessary to the overall narrative), but the pacing is fast and the story is filled with interesting Swords & Sorcery moments, such as Dar's encounter with the weird bat creatures.

Immediately, one can see the "influences" of "Conan the Barbarian" on "The Beastmaster":

• Barbarian?  Check.
• Dark sorcery?  Check.
• Mighty thews?  Check.
• Quest for vengeance after village is massacred?  Check.
• Villain is the leader of a nefarious cult?  Check.

And so on.  However, one important difference between the Cimmerian and the Beastmaster is the  latter's twist on the genre (being able to telepathically communicate with animals), and this actually saves the entire film from being a complete ripoff, as it gives the titular character a unique skill set.

The film also feels quite different, partly because "The Beastmaster", unlike "Conan the Barbarian," has good amounts of mostly effective humor, which helps to alleviate the mostly hammy acting (the times that Dar is "speaking" to his eagle are painfully funny/bad).  Of course, hammy acting is sometimes actually a strength, such as Rip Torn spending the entire movie chewing scenery.

The film is goofy, mixed with sudden moments of grim dark (which the film doesn't dwell upon), and has plenty of cheese without crossing the line into outright camp.  Mostly.

Not certain how that bird can carry that child...

"The Beastmaster" is not a great movie but, if you accept it for what it is, it is great fun.  The flaws can be glaring, such as the poor fight choreography or the strange bits of plot (Dar's love interest is his cousin!).  However, there are also plenty of good points, such as the excellent costume design, excellent cinemotography, excellent work with animals and pretty decent practical and optical effects for the time.  Director Don Coscarelli, Jr. also tried to imbue an epic feel to the film (e.g., building an actual ziggurat) and there are other nice touches (e.g., Maax is a charlatan magician).

If you are a fan of Swords & Sorcery movies and/or you want to be as pervy as our hero (watching Kiri bathe naked), you owe it to yourself to watch this 80's classic!

Movie Review: Hercules (2014)

This week, I wanted to give a shout out to an under appreciated film that's the best Sword & Sandal romp in recent years, "Hercules":

While it did reasonably well at the box office and it does have flaws, Hercules, in my humble opinion, still hasn't gotten quite the love I think it deserves.

I'm not trying to suggest that Hercules belongs in the same category as a Gladiator (2000) or a Conan the Barbarian (1982), but as a popcorn action flick, it is more than serviceable.  Based on the graphic novel Hercules: The Thracian Wars, our story finds Hercules (played by the Rock) after he has completed his twelve legendary labors: Banished from Athens, he sells his sword (well, club actually, which is pretty neat since that's an underrepresented heroic weapon) for coin.  Lord Cotys of Thrace offers Hercules his weight in gold and hijinks ensue.

As you might expect, director Brett Ratner is workmanlike, and the work behind the camera is competent but not particularly noteworthy.  Set and costume design are better, and I particularly like that the film's use of CGI is more limited and subtle than it might otherwise be.  The action is solid and worth the price of admission, as is the writing, which never has any eye rolling or groan worthy moments.

Even better is the cast: Of note is Ian McShane chewing scenery with relish, but I particularly liked Dwayne Johnson (aka The Rock), who apparently spent 6 months training for the movie and is absolutely jacked (selling the physicality of the titular role).  Additionally, Messr Johnson's acting has come light years from The Scorpion King, to the point where Hercules' pathos is reasonably believable.


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I know that some people were disappointed by the "twist" that Hercules is a mere mortal (though, some of his onscreen feats belie that point) and his "legendary labors" were actually military missions undertaken by he and his team and then embellished by his PR guy.  However, that didn't bother me: conversely, I thought it was an interesting and refreshing take on the character.

Plus, the movie, at its core, is a classic D&D adventure: a group of adventurers meet in a tavern, face trials and tribulations, and eventually defeat the evil king.

So, if you're looking for a ripping Sword & Sandal yarn, you could do worse than this movie.  In fact, you need go no further than the other Hercules film released that summer.

Movie Review: Red Sonja (1985)

This week, I wanted to give a shout out to a fun, if flawed, Swords & Sorcery romp that I watched many times on VHS when I was younger, "Red Sonja":

In this film, our titular character (played by newcomer Brigitte Nielsen) out is out to stop evil Queen Gedren (played by Sandahl Bergman), before the latter uses a powerful artifact of dark sorcery to destroy the world by flood and earthquake.  Sonja and Gedren have history: Sonja rejected Gedren's advances, so the Queen had Sonja raped and most of her family murdered.

Years later, after a magical spirit gives Sonja great sword fighting skills by and she receives training from a sword master to hone those skills, she finds that Gedren has also murdered her sister, a priestess guarding the Talisman (the aforementioned artifact of dark sorcery), whilst stealing the Talisman.  So, the Red One sets out to seek bloody vengeance (and also to save the world).

Along the way, she forms a motley party of adventurers (including Arnold Schwarzenegger playing a Conan the Barbarian expy), carves up anyone who stands in her way, and learns that not all men are evil.

This film has many, many drawbacks: Richard Fleischer, who directed "Conan the Destroyer" (1984), also helms this flick and "Red Sonja" shares many of the same problems, such as the dull direction, the significant departure from the dark, brooding, serious style of adult fantasy of "Conan the Barbarian" (1982), the weak story and lack of tension, the uninspired soundtrack, the cheap laughs, etc.

There is also plenty of bad acting and dialogue, such as this classic line:

Gedren... Where are youuuu?

Sandahl Bergman, who was supposed to be Sonja but declined, does a decent job of chewing scenery as the villain but Arnold mostly sleepwalks through completing his contractual obligations.

Speaking of which, as the third in Arnold's barbarian trilogy, this film was meant to be another Conan film but the producers ran into problems when they lost the rights to that character.  So, instead, they decided to change the main character.  Based on the character Red Sonya of Rogatino, Robert E. Howard's short story "The Shadow of the Vulture" (1934), Red Sonja is a swashbucking warrior woman popularized by Marvel Comics and set in R. E. Howard's Hyborian Age (also home to Conan the Barbarian).

Anyway, IMHO, "Red Sonja" is still fun if you take it for what it is, a lean 80s Action flick with 65 on screen murders, including the decapitation of the hapless sorcerer and one dude getting crushed to death.  The action choreography is mostly decent to good and the costume and production design (except for the Killing Machine, which was laughable even in the '80s) are excellent.

Indeed, I actually rate "Red Sonja" above "Conan the Destroyer," which I found to be rather dull.    "Red Sonja" is faster paced and filled with more action.  Queen Gedren is batshit insane and is at least funnier than the evil queen in "Conan the Destroyer".  And the kid sidekick (Prince Tarn) is way less annoying than Malak the Thief, actually has a character arc and proves to eventually be brave and useful.

Also, there's nothing really silly in "Red Sonja" on par with Zula (played by Grace Jones) wearing a tail or Andre the Giant in a rubber monster costume.

So, if you have some spare time and you're a fan of Swords & Sorcery, you could definitely do worse than spend 90 minutes back in the days of yore, when women were women and men mostly met the business end of Red Sonja's blade!

Video Game Review: "Dark Heart of Uukrul" (1989)

This week, I wanted to give a shout out to another overlooked CRPG gem from yesteryear, "Dark Heart of Uukrul":

"Dark Heart of Uukrul" is an Old School dungeon crawling CRPG where you play a party of adventurers (Fighter, Paladin, Priest and Magician) exploring the underground city of Eriosthe.  Not only must you survive and level up, but your ultimate goal is to figure out a way to defeat the eponymous dark lord.

Reminiscent of Ultima IV's innovative character creation, the computer asks a series of questions to determine your beginning stats.  Thus, each PC reflects their attitude and experience.  Additionally, within each class, there are subclasses, but what, if any, effect a subclass has upon the game is not explained, nor can it be easily deduced.

Indeed, this lack of information also shows up in other parts of the game.  Sometimes, this is a problem.  For example, no stats are given for items so finding out what they do is a process of trial-and-error.  Sometimes, this adds additional flavor and/or challenge.  For example, a particular sprite in combat can be several different creatures, so the player doesn't initially know what he's fighting until battle begins in earnest.   Old School!

Often compared unfavorably to the contemporary and well-loved Gold Box series of CRPGs (e.g., Pool of Radiance, Curse of the Azure Bonds, etc.), based on 1st edition Advanced Dungeons & Dragons, "Dark Heart of Uukrul" also uses a third person view for exploration and a top down view for combat.  In addition, like most CRPGs, "Dark Heart of Uukrul" uses a class/level system.  However, the similarities stop there.

Written by Ian Boswell and Martin Buis, a couple of comp sci students from New Zealand, Uukrul was a fresh perspective on CRPGs that placed a much stronger emphasis on player skill and creativity rather than combat, making it more akin to Zork and other text adventures.  As Boswell notes:

"[W]e did set out to make the game memorable, and the things the player remembers most are solving challenges, not hacking up monsters. It’s the puzzles and the plot that people remember. Both Martin and I were fond of puzzles and intellectual challenges, so we imbedded some of our favourites into the game, and created new ones of our own. The very best puzzles, I find, are ones where you see the pieces, but the “big picture” is hidden from view until you put the pieces together the right way, and then the logic dawns on you and everything makes sense."

As a result, although overshadowed by the Gold Box series, IMHO "Dark Heart of Uukrul" actually does a better job of emulating the feel of an Old School dungeon crawl, where thinking your way out of jams is more important that fighting your way out.

Speaking of dungeon crawling, Eriosthe is enormous (in today's parlance it is a megadungeon) with passages and rooms that seem to stretch out for ages.  The dungeon design is excellent, pushing the player to think.  Fortunately, there's an excellent automapping function.

Furthermore, in the best Old School tradition, you feel a real sense of dread and foreboding and you're always gambling whether to push forward or to fall back and recoup your strength because you have no idea what the heck might show up.  Speaking of which, there's still plenty of fighting to be had.

It's good that the exploration phase of the game is strong because combat is lacking for several reasons.  Firstly, although PCs can move diagonally (if there is space), they can only attack orthogonally, which leads to some strange situations.  Secondly, there are NO RANGED WEAPONS!  Consequently, your ranged offense is entirely limited to magical attacks from your Priest and Magician.  Thirdly, there are no sounds in the game.  While this actually helps in the exploration phase of the game (there are short well-written statements which add to the atmosphere), in combat the absence is noticeable.

Not known for fantasy games, Brøderbund commissioned and published "Dark Heart of Uukrul" to cash in on the popularity of CRPGs such as Wizardry and Ultima.  However, the game was a commercial failure with only 5000 sales (of which I was one).  Nevertheless, something of a cult following has developed over the years.

This is another game that isn't for everyone but if you are looking for a challenging dungeon crawler in the best Old School tradition and if you are willing overlook its shortcomings, "Dark Heart of Uukrul" just might be right for you.

Movie Review: "Dragon Blade" (2015)

This week, as we are in the midst of the 15 days of celebration for Chinese New Year, I wanted to take a look at the entertainingly bad Chinese historical adventure film "Dragon Blade" (2015):

In this world, is the destiny of mankind controlled by some transcendental entity or law? Is it like the hand of God hovering above? At least it is true that man has no control; even over his own will.

This is a work of historical fiction, with a strong emphasis on "fiction".

no killing rule

childish

surprisingly no bad

twists and turns in the plot

Jackie Chan plays the captain of the Han Chinese government's Silk Road Protection Squad (even though there was no such thing), John Cusack plays the Roman general of the "Black Eagle Corps" (even though Roman military units were not organized into corps), and Adrien Brody plays the son of Marcus Licinius Crassus, who murders his father to become Consul of Rome (even though that's not how Crassus died or though Consul was not a heretitary position).

there are also many, many, many other liberties taken 

it's a Chinese imagining of Ancient Rome, like the portrayals of Native Americans in old westerns.

one of China's most expensive films

cheesy hammy overacted

terrible editing

And so begins this ripping yarn that masterfully combines an epic dark fantasy narrative, ridiculously awesome action and philosophical musings!  An adaptation of the best-selling manga with the same name, "Berserk" follows a young mercenary named Guts as he (literally) carves his way through a low fantasy world reminiscent of late medieval/early renaissance Europe.  This unfortunate place is plagued with constant warfare and endures a level of everyday violence and brutality that makes Westeros seem like Disneyland!

Confusingly, this anime starts with an episode in the manga's Black Swordsman arc then quickly shifts back to the manga's Golden Age arc, where Guts is recruited by the brilliant and charismatic leader of the Band of the Hawk mercenary group, Griffith.  The viewer follows the Band of the Hawk's rise to glory among various blood-soaked battlefields, while Griffith plays a devious and equally deadly game of political machinations.

In addition to enough blood and violence to trigger a moral panic, Beserk features an amazing soundtrack that, fittingly, highlights or underscores the narrative.  Furthermore, the narrative is filled with excellent character beats, such that even minor characters get some surprising depth.  This more than makes up for animation quality that is average, at best, for the time.

In the Golden Age arc, Guts and the Band of the Hawk face danger, betrayal and demonic shenangians at every turn.  Fortunately, Guts possesses effectively unlimited willpower, a zero [expletives] given attitude, and arguably the coolest sword of all time!  This sucker is so huge it makes a daiklave from Exalted look like a kid's toy!

Really, the only major flaw to "Berserk" (1997) is that it ends on an epic cliffhanger... which was addressed by the new series "Berserk" (2016) currently airing in Japan, that picks up immediately afterward!