Movie Review: Hundra (1983)

Last year, I gave a shout out to one of my favorite cheesy 80s Swords & Sorcery romps, "Red Sonja".

This week, I wanted to take a look at another 80s Swords & Sorcery yarn featuring a sword-wielding female barbarian that, by contrast, had far too much bad to be So Good, It's Bad, "Hundra":

The set up is fairly typical for an 80s barbarian flick (e.g., The Beastmaster (1982)): Hundra (played by Laurene Landon) and her tribe are living peacefully when their village is suddenly attacked without warning by raiders, who slaughter everyone except the main character.  Now, Hundra is off on a quest for vengeance.

The particular twist here is that Hundra's tribe is all-female, and Hundra is the most all-female of them all, having never been with a man and being loudly misandrist (e.g., she berates her faithful dog for being male).  So, when she travels to the tribe's old wise woman after the massacre, she is taken aback when the latter tells her that she must breed to repopulate the tribe!

Of course, pretty much all men in movie are terrible, if not downright rapists, so, as you might expect, many of them die on Hundra's blade.

I wanted to like "Hundra" but it's just not good: the acting is terrible even for a low budget 80s Italian-Spanish production.  Laurene Landon is the only one who's even competent and while she makes for a striking and statuesque figure, Landon plays things far too straight for the film to have camp value.

Also, the fight scenes are poorly choreographed and the "humor" is often tonally jarring and out of place (e.g., random farting noises).  And the film is far too rapey for a rollicking swashbuckler.

So, if you want to watch a Swords & Sorcery with a strong female lead, go watch Red Sonja again (I've done so dozens of times and still find it quite amusing).  If you still have some spare time and are a completist of Swords & Sorcery films, maybe think about this movie.

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TV Review: "I, Claudius" (1976)

Decades before there was "Rome," "I, Claudius" set the gold standard for quality historical drama.  So, this week, I wanted to give a shout out to one of the greatest TV series of all time:

By turns gripping and chilling but always compelling, "I, Claudius" brings to life the wicked schemes and dastardly deeds of those vying for power over the mighty Roman Empire.  Based on the best-selling novels "I, Claudius" (1934) and "Claudius the God" (1935) by Robert Graves, Emperor Claudius narrates an "insider's story" of the early days of the empire, from 24 BC until Claudius' death in AD 54.

After the death throes of the late Roman Republic, being beset by devastating civil war after civil war, peace has come to the Empire, or at least for the common folk.  For Augustus and those who seek to replace him, it is different story, being a time rife with an orgy of betrayal and murder, as well as actual orgies.

Based on history but not strictly factual, "I, Claudius" vicariously brings to life names and places from dusty pages of history textbooks, with a degree of creative license.

As with "Rome," "I, Claudius" focuses on the personal political scheming rather than massive battles to stretch the budget.   Indeed, there are no fight scenes of any kind.  Oh well.

However, the series does excel on the scheming front, covering dozens of characters and their changing fortunes over a century.  From aging Augustus to brutal Tiberius to depraved Caligula to the Hobbit of Emperors (i.e., Claudius being the most unlikely person imaginable to become First Citizen) to even more depraved Nero, the show vividly airs the dirty laundry of the Julio-Claudians.

Moreover, the lengthy, set-bound scenes give the series a distinctively theatrical quality which plays to the strengths of the cast, a veritable who's who of great British actors of the period, including  the great Brian Blessed as Augustus and Siân Phillips as the deliciously evil Livia.  Plus, there's evil rapey Captain Picard with hair!

So, if you are a history buff, a fan of political scheming dramas or just want to see Patrick Stewart wearing a wig, this show is a must watch!

RPG Game Play: Investigations

Over the years, as my tastes as a tabletop RPG GM have moved away from High Fantasy and toward Swords & Sorcery, my games have tended to become deadlier and more Old School for PCs.  Consequently, my games have also moved away from emphasizing combat and toward problem solving.  A type of problem solving that often comes up is Investigations.

So, this week, I wanted to take a look at Investigations in RPGs.

In terms of preparing an Investigation adventure, whether PCs are uncovering a conspiracy, solving a murder or finding a MacGuffin, the first thing to do as a GM is to have a firm grasp on the background and the details.  While preparation is always important for a GM, when running an Investigation adventure, it is even more so since there's a good chance that the Players will be coming up with ideas and approaches that you hadn't considered (despite that preparation) and you really need to keep the details in your head while thinking on your toes.

Whew!

Next, for a successful Investigation adventure, it really helps to have a gripping plot/scenario to grab and to hold the Players' interest.  Feel free to shamelessly rip off ideas from your favorite books, movies, TV shows... BUT do try to mix things up enough so that your Players don't realize what you are doing.  So, you want to be "Episode IV: A New Hope" (1977) (which took a LOT of ideas from "Hidden Fortress" (1958), the epic jidaigeki adventure film directed by the legendary Kurosawa Akira) and not this:

After you've worked out the plot/scenario for your Investigation, next you need to set up clues.  Lots and lots of clues.  Never underestimate the likelihood that the PCs will reach a dead end.  Thus, Justin Alexander's Three Clue Rule is a good general rule of thumb.  Furthermore, if the PCs are really stuck, consider dropping hints and even clues until they can get moving again.

Additionally, I like to also add interesting the NPCs and challenges that the PCs will face during the Investigation.  This isn't strictly necessary, but, for example, a great and engaging villain, such as Strahd von Zarovich can elevate a good adventure to a great one.

In terms of challenging the Players' minds, Investigations can be a great option if properly planned and executed.  And, as I mentioned above, they can fit in with a variety of genres.  So, if your band of murderhobos is tired of murdering their umpteenth tribe of green skins, consider throwing an Investigation at them.

Movie Review: Mongol (2007)

This week, I wanted to give a shout out to another overlooked Historical Adventure gem, "Mongol":

"Mongols need laws.

I will make them obey...

...even if I have to kill half of them."

Also known as "Mongol: The Rise of Genghis Khan", "Mongol" unsurprisingly covers the early life and rise to power of Genghis Khan (under his given name Temüüjin), who conquered the largest land empire in history.  The story begins with 9-year-old Temüjin on a trip by his father Yesugei, a Mongol chieftain, to select a girl as his future wife.

Although his father wishes him to choose someone from the rival Merkit tribe in order to make peace, along the way Temüjin meets Börte, a girl from another tribe.  Impressed with Börte's pluck, he picks her instead.  Shortly thereafter, disaster strikes when Yesugei is poisoned by another group of rivals.

This begins a sequence when Temüjin is periodically on the run and captured.  During this time, he becomes blood brothers with another young boy named Jamukha and Börte gives birth to two children of questionable parentage.  Eventually, Temüjin raises an army to unify all of the Mongols, and meets his blood brother, now a powerful warlord in his own right, for a final showdown.

While Genghis Khan is the national hero of Mongolia (where he is still revered to the present day), his reputation in other parts of the world is... mixed.  However, rather than portray Temüüjin as a cartoon villain or sociopathic mass murderer, director Sergei Bodrov instills sympathy and humanity, which is easier since the film depicts the period prior to Genghis Khan's major genocides and atrocities.

In any event, "Mongol" is a sweeping epic historical film, with beautiful cinematography, stunning landscapes, and powerful battle scenes.  There's plenty of carnage but the film is also balances with quiet character moments that give a sense of Temüüjin as a person and family man.

Blending action, politics, romance, and brotherhood,  "Mongol" is both a grand and an intimate movie that is successfully both entertaining and dramatic. 

So, if you're looking for a David Lean-style Epic that's also a not-over-the-top action flick, this may be the film for you!